Ten answers, including two that cost us money.

What do I take off?

Whatever you are comfortable taking off. Most people keep underwear on for a massage and some keep everything on except a shirt. You are under a sheet the entire time and only the part being worked on is uncovered. Nobody will comment on it either way.

Will somebody talk to me the whole time?

No. Your therapist will ask about pressure at the start and once in the middle, and after that will not speak unless you do. If you want to talk, talk — it is your hour and neither answer is wrong.

Am I going to be sold something?

Not on the table, ever. If a therapist thinks a different treatment suits you better they will say so at the end, when you are dressed and standing up, and it goes in your notes for next time. We do not stock a retail wall.

What if I am late?

We keep your room for the full time you booked and the hands-on time is whatever is left. If you are more than fifteen minutes late we usually have to shorten it, and you pay the shorter price rather than the one you booked.

Is the gratuity included?

Yes, in every price on the site. You are welcome to leave more and nobody will hover while you decide.

Where do I park?

The lot behind the building on Boardman is free for two hours and it is a ninety-second walk. Front Street parking is metered until 6pm.

What is the difference between the 50 and the 80 minute?

Thirty minutes of hands on you, which is most of the difference in price. The 50 covers back, shoulders and neck properly and rushes everything else. The 80 does not rush anything. Almost everybody who books the 50 twice books the 80 the third time.

Can I book a prenatal massage in the first trimester?

Yes. Three of our therapists are trained for prenatal work and any trimester is fine with us. The rule that you must wait twelve weeks is not evidence-based and is not ours — but if your midwife or doctor has told you otherwise, follow them and not a spa website.

Do gift certificates expire?

No. They cannot, under Michigan law, and a good number of places here still print an expiry date on them. Ours have no date and we will honour one at whatever the treatment costs on the day it is used, not what was paid.

Are your therapists qualified?

All seven are licensed massage therapists in the state of Michigan, and three of them hold additional prenatal training. We are not going to publish licence numbers on a website — ask at the desk and we will show you the wall they are hanging on.

The two that cost us money are the 50-against-80 answer, which sends people to the cheaper booking about as often as the dearer one, and the gift certificate answer, which is state law that a good number of places here still print an expiry date over.